@railophone: I have felt this way as well. There are alot of people in "the real world" that are around me, and have been around me for years, and don't know me at all. I tend to pull into myself, and bottle up my emotions. I am insecure, and vulnerable. My way of coping with whats inside, is to seem happy on the outside. I am co-depedent, meaning I like to please people. It's often a curse. I don't trust easily, sometimes not at all. I have been hurt alot. I rarely open up to people... Because honestly, I don't want/need them to judge me. I have enough of that in my life. Sounds stupid as I type it here, but, alas it is the truth. I don't have but 1 TRUE friend. and I am engaged to him. But, I don't strive or need anymore friends. I used to have alot more friends about 3 years ago, but thats a long story I will not go into. I have been declared clinically depressed, having ADD, and other fun things. Also, I have been sick most of my life. (doctor told me, "Your immune system... sucks") Yup. Now, if you knew me, you wouldn't know this. I have become very good at hiding it. Which isn't always a good thing, but who wants to go around with people constantly asking, "What's wrong?" "Are you ok?" NOT me. No thank you. I used to cry alot too. I cried myself to sleep every night for almost 2 years. Sometimes I didn't even know why I was crying, it just hit me. I have nightmares, sometimes every night. Not the most rewarding thing to admit to, but indeed. my fiance has to shake me and yell my name to wake me up. I cry, and convulse, and sometimes wake up screaming. It's a bit awful. :/ But it gets better, when my fiance (@tonymatlock88) looks into my eyes, holds me, and tells me that I don't have to worry he will ALWAYS be there when I wake up to hold me after a nightmare. I have been trully blessed to find a man like him. He has helped me through an incredibly tough time, and has always been there for me, for the past 5-6 years. He's a keeper :) Also, another reason I don't tell people my "issues" or "problems" whatever the psych's call it now-a-days, is I DON'T WANT THERE TO BE ANYTHING WRONG WITH ME. I am tired of being broken, and hurt. So, when I put up me happy front, I can have the illusion of happiness, even if only for a little while. But I know, I have to sort through my issues to overcome them, just, sometimes, I like to make them dissapear, just for a while. I am working on healing though. It will be a journey, but every journey starts with but a single step right? Now that I have talked your ear off i'll go :) I hope you feel better! *gives tylenol, soup, and tissues* -April Also, there is nothing wrong with moody-ness. I get that way as well alot of times. Everyone has their own own way of dealing with the stresses of the world.